keeping quiet

so much has happened since my last blog. i believe, i wanted so bad to have my angie back, i spent a lot of mental time trying to stand in her shoes, to understand. everything i know about my girl, angie, is raw. everything she says has no other meaning than exactly as she says. that is the result of camoflaging her rage, her heavy heart, her dislike of herself, and mostly what has been put on her. i always thought she would know, feel, and see that my love for her was always unconditional but i see now that that in itself was a condition....something i expected of her , to see things my way. i am saddened by that. i have been blind, taking care of putting out campfires and there was one brewing right next to me and i didnt recongnize the danger signs. danger signs not for me, but for her.
i believe she and i have started over. i am working on letting her know she can trust that i will never leave her , i love her for who she is and more so i understand.